Saturday, February 11, 2012

Operation Debutante: To Lindsey With Love

Dear Tim Tebow: I’ll bet there’s a lot of pressure on you already, what with you being the Broncos’ quarterback, building third-world hospitals and all, and inventing Tebowing. I really hate to add to the stress, I do, but Tim Tebow, only you can save my daughter. --Pamela Fagan Hutchins

Now that Prince William is off the market, Tim Tebow is fast replacing Prince Harry as The World’s Most Eligible Bachelor. While mothers and teenage girls everywhere send customized media messages to the wholesome hunk, the race transpires to see who will come in second place to Jesus and snag Tebow’s heart for good. While I’m pretty sure there’s not a snowball’s chance in Casey Anthony’s secret Floridian hideaway that it’s going to be Katy Perry, likely much to the chagrin of her highly optimistic parents, I can see that he’s not in much of a hurry at all. I just don’t see these two as a match anyway. They represent two completely contradistinctive value systems that no “opposites attract” theory could possibly overcome.

That Tebow is not in any rush gives me some time for my plan to work: OPERATION DEBUTANTE.

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